We’ve been home for two days now. It’s the weekend and so I guess so far life doesn’t seem that unusual. But tomorrow when it’s Monday I expect things will start to get real.
Ruby tells me that she believes God does everything for a reason. I am and have always been entirely unconvinced of this, but I sit with her long enough to see where she’s heading with this and she tells me she thinks this is God’s way of telling us to slow down. I’m not convinced God had any hand in this. But I can’t deny that perhaps this is an unintentional silver lining.
We did nothing this weekend. Although I suppose I did the kind of nothing that is actually more something than most of the nonsense I pretend is something on most weekends. I took nine separate walks this weekend. I used every single dish, cup and fork - twice. I FaceTimed 8 different people. I started a new book. I cooked all of our food. I played six games of Uno. There were no sports or hebrew school or Girl Scouts or visiting with family or restaurants. There was just….us.
Like most of us, I don’t know what comes next. But I do know that more than ever friends, we will need each other. So I’ll try to check in with you and maybe once in a while, you can reach out and leave a comment or a note and tell me how your heart is. At the very least, a global quarantine has a way of reminding you that pretty much our only job is to care for each other’s hearts, and walk each other home.
So in no particular order, here is what I’ve learned so far:
I will be seven hundred pounds by the end of quarantine. Today I ate some beef stew and washed it down with macaroni and cheese. We are existing on something called Mermaid cereal which is made up entirely of chemicals and I’m convinced is so unnatural and potentially toxic it may actually be useful in fighting the virus. I’ve sent a sample over to a local lab just in case.
I am closely and rapidly evolving into a puppy that must be walked several times a day. Each morning, afternoon, and night I feel this sense of urgency to go for a 15 minute walk to nowhere. I walk just to walk and notice things and breathe air. There are buds on the trees and it’s too early for that which is unnerving. But also there are buds on the trees. Spring will be here soon.
Call people often. Text, call, facetime - do all three. People are lonely and scared and want to know that someone else is also feeling all the things. Reach out to someone else every single day because caring about others makes the time go by faster.
Don’t think too far ahead. I literally can’t. I started to the other night and ended up watching the Real Housewives of New Jersey at 3AM just to calm myself down. Stay here now. Figure out right now, or the next hour. Or tomorrow. I wouldn’t attempt to figure out more than that.
Really great moments are worth everything now. Today I had an awesome game of Uno with my girls. It was that perfect time of day in the not so early and not so late afternoon, when the sun is streaming in, and the house feels warm but not hot and when everything feels bathed in good things. We were laughing at each other and it was wonderful.
Tomorrow is Day one of Mom School which is a threshold I swore I’d never cross. Historically almost any new mom that I meet, if she tells me that she homeschools her children I automatically know that I can’t be friends with her. Mostly because I find that these people are like delicate special unicorns that are just far better human beings than I will ever be. I know I can never be friends with these women because I am not worthy. Tomorrow, I have to make the world’s saddest attempt at this. There is a zero percent chance this doesn’t end in any other way than all of us extremely hating each other.
At least we have Mermaid cereal.
Anyhow, I’ll check in with you guys again soon. Because that’s what friends do.
Sending love and strength and the wisdom to not eat everything in your fridge before the next grocery delivery.
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